I don't know how I got here, I told him. On this teeter-totter of emotions and certainty, I just don't know.
I like to ask him. Ask him anything. Especially when my 4x4 gives way. Because, I know who he's walking with. And I know they are walking.
Picture everyone in the whole world in a room filled with tables, he said. And at each table in front of each person is a huge bag of gold and a piece of paper. On the paper is directions to the wisest person alive.
You get to pick one, he said, like a wise man would. What would you take Caryl? The gold, or the paper?
I answered without saying a word. I kept listening. I just kept listening.
The gold he said, is a lot like emotions. It's shiny. It's attractive. It's what most people go off of for guidance. It's what they chase.
Don't worry about emotions, you will have no shortage of those in life. They will come all on their own.
The paper, that is for seekers. For people that will seek things out wholeheartedly. For those who want the truth.
I've been back to my own spot at the table ever since. In my day to day. To see what I'm grabbing.
To see if I'm really picking up the piece of paper.